Masking and autism in females

‘Masking’ is when we try to hide our autisticness so others will accept us. To do this, we act in ways that other people will like or think are “normal” and “socially acceptable.” Masking is also called “passing” or “camouflaging.” It could also explain why fewer women and girls get diagnosed, as they tend to demonstrate more masking behaviours.

We autistic people can act differently from non-autistic people. As a result, we can be seen as strange. This can lead to bullying and harassment as people can act unpleasantly to people they don’t understand.

When in a customer-facing job, we may act friendly and happy so the customer can feel welcomed and valued. We do the same when we are with our friends to show them we care. This effort varies depending on how we feel and what we’re doing. With friends, this may only be small as we’re interested in them even if not on the topic of conversation.

Everyone masks, and this includes both autistic and non-autistic people. If you are autistic, masking is more effort; it can be physically draining and cause anxiety and depression. Sometimes this is called “Social Burnout”.

What does it mean for autistic people?

Sometimes we don’t realise we are masking as these roles can feel natural and happen automatically and without thought.

Other times, it may be much more demanding and require a lot of concentration. We may have to consciously use body language, vocal tone, and facial expressions to show interest.

Some examples of masking behaviours are:

• Maintaining eye contact
• Trying to stay still
• Copying others’ behaviour
• Forcing ourselves to use facial expressions and smile
• Learning conversation topics others might be interested in
• Practising how to act before we go to an event

Doing these things takes a lot of effort when you are autistic.

Masking and autism diagnosis rates

Because of masking, you may never notice someone is autistic. I feel this is one reason why some people may never get diagnosed, or only in adulthood, and so may not seem autistic. This could lead them to get another diagnosis or fail to be diagnosed.

Some people may not even know they are autistic. They may think their challenges are because they are tired or hungry.

This can lead to them blaming themselves and continuing to do bad things. Others don’t get socially burnt out as quickly, and some don’t when around routine people like their parents or partner.

Research is still needed to understand why more males get diagnosed with autism than females. Masking may be one reason. If so, this could mean many undiagnosed adults may need help. I hope that if everyone understands masking, then more of us may realise we’re autistic and, in doing so, lead more fulfilling lives.

Loren Snow is the creator of Autism Academy, which makes short animated videos explaining different things about being autistic to make understanding autism fun.